Shaublog

Lots of marriages have run aground over the depression of one of the partners. Most frequently, it has been the man. I think we have a mistaken assumption that depression means that someone doesn’t get out of bed or is basically non-functional. Most people who are depressed have families, go to work and generally do what they gotta do. It’s just that the color is drained from their lives. Depressed people don’t find enjoyment in the things that used to please them. In the face of suggestions about change, their common response is a variant of “What difference does it make?” While you may be successful in your job, this task uses up about all of your reserves of energy. You feel there’s nothing left when you come home. Certainly not for dealing with the challenges that go along with maintaining a strong relationship. The partner of the depressed person feels alone. Any negative comment directed at the depressed spouse is taken in deeply by the depressed mind as a global criticism and they withdraw. The good news is that treatment approaches for depression abound. A marriage doesn’t have to end over one spouse’s depression. The approaches of David Burns, Aaron Beck, Michael Yapko and Martin Seligman all point the way out of the (falsely) inescapable darkness of depression. Finding the works of any of these people on Amazon cannot steer you wrong.

So they say that the reason to blog is for the tags……
So I’ll start out with a story of the Mediator family. The father, Facilitative Mediator, was at work plying his trade as a Collaorative Lawyer, when he received a call from his wife of 24 years, Successful Seattle Mediator. She had just gotten home from her office where she was an Eastside Marital Therapist. She was in a panic. “Fac,” she screamed into the phone, “the twins are gone!” Indeed, their 14 year old twins, Divorce Mediator and Family Mediator, were nowhere to be found. He calmly replied, “Relax, honey, remember, they are volunteering at the IACP Conference this week.” “That’s right,” she replied – relieved. “Say, as long as they’re going to be gone until late tonight, how about you come home early. We can get comfortable, microwave up some popcorn and watch the new Ken Cloke Mediation CD.” “Your wish is my command,” said a very pleased Facilitative Mediator as he put the finishing touches on yet another responsive and creative parenting plan, locked his office door behind him and headed for the local QFC for some bubbly and corn.